About Me :)

I got married and made aliya five and a half years ago, all in the space of 3 days. And that is where this blog begins

יום שבת, 2 באפריל 2011

Oh Yeah, I'm A Mom

     Does the reality of your life ever just creep up on you?  Like I'll wake up, boil some water, drink my Joe, and then Eliya, my two and a half year old son, starts bellowing. Then I get my angel out of bed and watch him stumble through the hallway. I play with him, I get him settled. Then I get dressed, get him dressed, play with him some more. And then, I'm late for work. Late? But I'm not a late person. What happened here? And then the reality causes my head to turn sideways and slightly skyward, and I go 'Oh yeeeeah!' It's the mommy thing.
     Take yesterday, for example. It was Shabbat. We had a busy day entertaining friends and meeting up with visiting family. When all was said and done, we took a late nap. I was tired and so was he. We fell asleep quickly. The problem was that he did not stay asleep as long as I would have liked. He woke up in a cranky mood. As I prepared him the bottle he was whining for, I asked myself "Why am I feeling so stressed?". Then, the slow neck swivel and eye squint: "Riiiiightttt". Woken-out-of-a-deep-sleep-and-forced-to-prepare-a-warm,-cozy-bottle-in- less-than-a-minute. Not easy, this mommy thing.
     Two and a half years ago, my amazing baby boy was born. I remember it so clearly. The moment I heard him cry, my neurotic side burst forth, and I asked the doctor "Hu normali? (is he normal?)" and the doctor held up my beautiful, crying, confused, healthy baby, and declared "Hu mushlam! Tir'i, at ima! (He's perfect! Look, you're a mom!)". And then I broke down and cried. It was a perfect moment.
     I had pneumonia for the first month of Eliya's life. I wasn't able to take care of him much during that time. That depressed me. All I wanted was to have a baby AND feel good. Then, Baruch H-shem, I added a second antibiotic to the mix, and I began healing. Slowly, the dark cloud lifted. I cared for him. I fed him. I took him on outings. I took him to save-my-sanity mommy and baby groups. Life with Baby commenced.
     After my three month maternity leave, I began working again. I just wanted to be with him and be his sole caregiver during the day, but financially, that wasn't going to be possible. So, I worked part time. I remember getting home at the end of the work day to my beautiful baby. I found myself waiting for him to tire out and take a nap, so I could take my nap. I felt guilty about that. Why wasn't I bursting with energy, ready to play with him for hours on end when I got him home after work? Then the reality creep: "Oh riiiiightttt!" I kept forgetting; I'm a working mom. Working moms are tired. Working moms are stressed. Working moms smile through exhausted, droopy eyelids at the funny things their babies do and say.
     So yeah, I get it now. Life has changed these past 2 and a half years. I get to be one of those mommy women. Tired. Stressed. Overworked. Amazed. Mystified. In Love with this beautiful creature I once carried inside me. In a nutshell, the 'mommy thing'. Best thing in the world :).

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